Often astrologers appear detached as they give the forecast of current or upcoming transits with articles or with podcasts. Some astrologers share personal stories which helps us relate to them better. However, there is a fine line between sharing stories or allowing personal stories to dominate the collective. I’m about to walk that fine line.
My hope is that when I reveal and explore the transits in my chart and the progressed planets in my chart for this day, April 4, 2018, and share my experiences with this chart, some of you will relate. And while we all have different ways of dealing with the energies that come up from the cosmos, when we share our vulnerabilities with others we create a healing effect.
So, the two transits causing me the most stress right now are with Mars conjunct Saturn in hanging out on my Capricorn Ascendant. And the other transit is actually Mercury in Aries retrograde in my 3rd House of Communication and the brain. Meanwhile, Neptune continues in my 2nd House and Pluto in my 1st House. Uranus gets ready to plow into my 4th House (angular) and Jupiter in Scorpio transits through my 10th House. I am feeling little relief right now even with Jupiter in a trine with Neptune.
Let’s start with the Mars conjunct Saturn in Capricorn hanging out near my Ascendant. Saturn goes retrograde later this month and it will return to my 12th House. Mars will move on and into Aquarius where it too will retrograde later this spring.
The collective feeling of Mars conjunct Saturn in Capricorn is one foot on the brake and the other on the gas. We end up lurching instead of moving forward. For me, this revolves around my personal identity and my childhood wounds. I experienced a dream which summed up my wounding. I was in a large cafeteria sitting at a long table with my peers. We all created artwork of one kind or another and pinned it to a wall for everyone to notice, criticize, judge or praise.
As we involved ourselves in a round table, everyone commented and complimented even awarded each others’ art. My artwork a large drawing of a Chinese boy was ignored by everyone. I felt invisible, sad, abandoned and pissed off. At first, I was proud of my drawing and to share it with my peers. But after they ignored it, I berated myself and my art. I felt less than zero and wanted to sneak out of the space and hide.
I know what this dream is telling me. That somewhere in my childhood my art was ignored or that I felt like I didn’t matter in my family. Perhaps, a parent had a long day at work and was exhausted when he or she came home. And when I showed the parent something I was proud of that I made in school, they dismissed it or changed the topic. As a child, I couldn’t rationalize this behavior. I just felt wounded.
So, moving forward, when I try to get my work out in the world and it’s ignored, dismissed or rejected, it is a reflection of the original wound. And it’s up to me to acknowledge this wound and to apply balm to my inner child who is raging mad and hurt from a situation that happened so long ago in time-space reality, but is just below the surface during this moment.
Mercury RX in Aries also plays a role here because Aries represents the child and Mercury represents cognitive thoughts. With Mercury RX, we are all returning to our childhoods. Saturn and Mars represents how we balance our inner child and our inner adult. Much of the criticism we say to ourselves comes from original wounding from our parents or other authorities. It’s a good time to observe our thoughts and our beliefs so we can resolve them and let them go. As adults, we have the ability to rationalize whereas, when we were children we did not have that skill.
In looking at the progressed Moon in Aquarius, emotionally, I’ve wanted to break away from society and the current collective destructive beliefs. I have fought for justice in various areas and emotionally I feel drawn to grassroots movements, especially around children and women as well as, the environment. I experience brilliant insights but forget them just as quickly. Aquarius is a forgetful sign.
My progressed Sun is at 29 degrees Leo and ready to charge into Virgo. It is in my 8th House. This represents death, rebirth, and reclaiming my power. But I also need to surrender my need to fix others so that I feel better about my life. Fixing others actually causes more harm than good. It demeans and belittles a person instead of empowering them. I am learning this lesson with my communities and with my parents. People have grown tired of my know-it-all attitude, even the dog is tired of my health improvement plan for him. It’s time for me to lay my hands off others and to focus on my healing.
Progressed Venus and Mars are still at mid-degrees Cancer in my 7th House asking me to heal myself so that I can be in a soul-to-soul partnership. I’m not looking for anything superficial. But even though I can talk the talk, can I put my feelings into action? I am in the process of balancing my feminine with my masculine sides, as we all are.
I’m going to stop here. I wanted to give you a picture of how an astrologer views their own transits. And I wanted to show how astrology works as a tool for self-exploration and evolution. As each of us cleans up our side of the street, we heal the planet.
We all matter, even the astrologer.
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