During recent months, I found myself in the throes of the most painful days of my life. Actually, this dark period began in 2014 and has continued through 2017. Even though I said that I was done talking about narcissists, the truth is that I find myself embroiled in a den of them.
Sometimes I am able to detach and see the bigger picture. I am able to witness their reactions to me as an observer. I take the advice of one expert and visualize myself wearing a white coat and observing these challenging people. I have met so many of them during the past three years when I gained an awareness of this personality disorder. But looking back, I’ve known this personality type my entire life. It is only now that their games and ploys have come to my awareness. And it is only now that I send their shame, guilt, and suffering back to them instead of playing the role of the dysfunctional good girl.
Some of you know what I’m talking about. Some of you are hanging on waiting for relatives to die in hopes that you will be compensated by something left to you in a will. But the truth is you may never see any gifts and in the meantime, these adversaries strung you along. And it’s because they feel wounded and empty inside. It’s because they can’t stand the pain so they project it on to you. And it keeps getting passed down through each generation. I have seen it on all sides of my family and moving into the future. There is psychological help for these folks but in order to get this help, they have to admit that they have a problem and it is within them. They are unable to do this. It is a vicious cycle that destroys families, communities, nations, and ultimately the planet.
Now, I wonder if we focus on our end of it by using DNA ancestral clearing work, forgiveness work, and other types of energy release work, if this will eventually cause the narcissists to acquire healing. Right now, the statistic is that only one percent of narcissists will admit that they are the problem and get help. It is easier for them to play victim and martyr roles. It is easier for them to drag you into their wounded karma. It is easier for them to place the blame on others or gossip about them behind their back while destroying personal character/reputation.
Many healers and teachers I have spoken with who work on healing people who suffer narcissistic abuse tell me that the best way to heal is to dissociate from the source of the pain or to break away from the people abusing you. This makes total sense. Unfortunately, it is not always possible if social services and funds are not available, as they currently aren’t based on world economics. Some people suffering from narc abuse (I know of at least one), are living on the street or in a shelter because they sought their freedom. This also is a toxic option unless the shelter provides a leg up and helps that person get back on his or her feet economically and into their own home. This does happen.
So, if you find yourself living in a toxic household, make your exit plan now and take even one small step towards it each day. Find advocates in your community or at least support groups online. Copy down the crisis clinic or hotline number in your community. Keep it on hand. Ask others who you trust to pray with you and for you. I believe in the power of prayer from any spiritual tradition.
Know that you are not alone because I imagine millions of people face the same demons in others close to them. It seems epidemic at this time.
Shine the light on the world and flush out the darkness. Only then, will we heal this rift in humanity.