Save yourself the drama and trauma to your body and mind by watching for the following behaviors. Life is short and we’re not on this planet to cater to the needs of challenging people (narcissists, sociopaths, and drama kings). Focus on your own joys and passions.
- People who have no sense of boundaries. At first, these people seem overly generous, but they also appear like empty wells void of a personality. They don’t have a sense of where they end and you begin. Run away.
- People who have one set of rules for themselves and another set of rules for you. Here is an example. I once met a landlady who didn’t want to call herself a landlady because she didn’t believe in leases. Yet, this lady had a long set of rules and behaviors she expected from tenants. And she wanted first, last, and a rental deposit because she didn’t want anyone cutting out on her.
- People who constantly remind you of their assets, talents, and all the times they did a nice deed for someone. These people are insecure and they are like the empty-well person.
- People who do all the talking and never listen. And when they half-listen they act like they have all the answers for you. These people invalidate your feelings and will never give you encouragement to be yourself.
- People who offer unsolicited advice and when you reject it act like babies throwing a tantrum.
- Also, watch out for name-droppers because they are a bore anyway.
- Watch out for arrogant people who believe that their sex is the best one, their life style is superior to others, that their generation was the brightest one ever…These people are incapable of having a two-way conversation and won’t allow any insights or input from you. After all, they suffer the delusion that they are your teacher and you are an idiot.
Not all these folks suffer from a personality disorder, but if anyone you meet carries several of these traits, then there is a good chance that you are dancing with a narcissist. Having done that many times and suffered the emotional bruising, my best advice is that you find people who are truly generous, see you for you, are capable of giving and receiving, listen to you with enthusiasm, embrace your uniqueness, and observe boundaries between others. These are what I call keepers.
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