Intuitive Coaching 101: don’t Allow Anyone to ride on your coattails

1119When I channel these messages they are pointed at me as well as, anyone reading this post. As teachers and healers, we were taught enabling behavior. Or we get caught in our egos, basking in the light of someone needing us. But in truth, no one needs us and when we allow others to need us, they suck our life-force.

It’s important that we get this message and contemplate the power within it. If we act out of guilt, fear, or obedience, then we miss the point of our true mission on this planet. And that is to heal ourselves and then pass on our practices and tools. Jesus has been quoted as teaching people how to fish as oppose to giving them fish. And that’s pretty much the message here.

I read the Coptic Gospels years ago and was dumbfounded by what I read. I remember one saying or section about turning away from one’s parents and family. And I felt aghast by those words. But that’s because, at that time, I didn’t understand the meaning, which isn’t about dissing your family, but perhaps, walking away from their beliefs because those are old beliefs that don’t serve us. The other aspect of this is to not get caught up in the neediness of others because again, they suck us dry.

We have not come here to serve others in the old way of the martyr-victim. If we feel exhausted, suffer from anemia, chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia, then  it’s because we are allowing others to put their needs before us. And they must learn ways to get their needs met through the Divine Source. That is they set an intention, pray for help, and let whoever or whatever shows up to help them. There should be no strings attached.

It’s true, Saint Francis once said that it is in giving that we receive, but he’s not talking about the type of giving where we keep score. I’m pretty sure he meant to give from the heart when we are filled up with love and our cup is overflowing. I think he meant that if we have ten extra dollars and we encounter someone sincerely in need, we give that money freely without any thought, judgment, or expectation. We know that more will come to us from the Source of all Creation.

Now, we might even give the person some tools, even a mantra or affirmation, if we feel the person is open to that. But don’t take on their burden, don’t do what I used to do–which is to start mulling over that person’s predicament and then turning that into some kind of savior crusade. Who am I to save anyone? Have we been watching too many moralistic feel-good movies? Life isn’t like those movies. We’re all here to learn our lessons and sometimes we are called on to give others a leg up, and we do this by teaching them what we know.

So if you’re feeling the following symptoms around other people, they are sucking you dry, consciously or unconsciously. Shield yourself and be strong.

  • Exhaustion
  • Migraines or tension headaches
  • Dizziness or lightheaded
  • Vertigo
  • Feeling like you are drowning or suffocating
  • Nausea
  • Intestinal or digestive issues
  • Bones ache
  • Emotionally off
  • Disoriented
  • Feet ache (as you try to ground yourself)
  • Chaos
  • Your life feels out of control

I imagine that anyone reading this post is an empath and has been taught that nice people help others. But this does not suggest that we chew other people’s food for them, on any level. I’ve been needy in the past too. When I was unconscious, I sucked others dry and they sucked me dry and it was a vicious cycle. I was also very sick physically.

Then the channel Frank Butterfield knocked some sense into me. He told me to stop looking to others to get my needs met and allow others to simply be the agents of change that they are. And this woke me up immediately. And if you want to know more about Frank Butterfield, I’m including his link here. I want to thank my friend Jane Ritson for hooking me up with Frank. Jane is an awesome astrologer and wise woman over there in the UK.

And as always, you can sign up with me at Whole Astrology.


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Whole Astrology–Powerful Pluto Goes Direct

Watch my video on Pluto going direct (September 26, 2016) on Astrologer Patricia. Thank you for subscribing to Astrologer Patricia and Metaphysics4EverydayLiving.

One correction and that is that Mars will conjunct Pluto and square Uranus, not conjunct Uranus and square Pluto.

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Intuitive Coaching 101: Making Peace with the Mean Reds



Promotional poster found online, educational use

For those of you who have read Truman Capote’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” might recall the phrase, “the mean reds,” which is worst than the blues, according to the character Holly Golightly. I believe that anxiety and panic attacks equate the mean reds. And lately, with the astrological transits in Mutable Signs (Pisces, Sagittarius, and Virgo), as well as, the upcoming Pisces Lunar Eclipse, I have a bad case of the mean reds.


Some people still self-medicate or take pharma drugs for the mean reds. I am not here to give medical advice, but I also believe in facing raw emotions head on, rather than escaping them. Healing doesn’t come through denial or repression of emotions. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t distract ourselves with something or idea that makes us feel better. I call this the talking down approach.

And if you don’t take the medical route and just want to feel better, here are some ways to make peace with the mean reds. And please understand that if you’re suffering from any mental conditions or personalities disorders, seek professional counseling, especially from a cognitive therapist.

  1. Listening to slower or slowed down music played on low-tone instruments such as cello calms the heart and body rhythms. Music under 80 beats per minute helps us relax and leads to better sleep. You can also try brainwave CDs. Here is information on brain waves and sleep patterns.
  2. Sound healing helps quell anxiety and panic attacks. You can either use Tibetan or crystal bowls (if you can afford them) or listen to sound healing recordings. I recommend recordings by Jonathan Goldman, Joshua Leeds, and you can find others on the Sounds True label.
  3. Listen to self-help and spiritual podcasts. I prefer listening to these on YouTube and I normally stick with Hay House authors such as Louise Hay and Esther Hicks but listen to the ones that relax you. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of spiritual podcasts to choose.
  4. Sing or chant. I enjoy Kirtan chants myself, but you can sing Gregorian or other types of spiritual chants. Or if you prefer singing jazz standards, that works too. Just stay away from melancholic or bitter lyrics.
  5. Dance. That’s right put on some music and dance. Exercise is a good way of calming the mean reds because it releases healthy chemicals in the brain. Dance uplifts and also helps us to sleep better. Just don’t dance before bed.
  6. Watch funny videos or read hilarious books. Laughter is also good medicine for the brain and boosts the immune system too.
  7. Learn how to do breath work. Breathing is crucial when having an anxiety attack because we need oxygen to get to our brains. We cut off oxygen when we experience panic attacks. So remember to breathe.
  8. Go for a walk. Even if you’re just engaging in a quick jaunt around the block, walking gets our good juices flowing. We can find answers to our problems while we’re moving forward–thus walking. Movement releases healthy chemicals into the brain.
  9. Try homeopathy and flower essences such as Bach Flower Remedies.

So next time you experience the mean reds, don’t berate yourself. Take charge and practice self-care. Anxiety attacks are most likely to occur when we are faced with stressful or even new situations. For instance, when I move into a new home, I experience acute anxiety. When I begin a new job or do anything for the first time, I know I’m going to experience unease. This is time for me to step back, slow down, and practice self-care.

What every you do don’t blame or shame yourself when you experience anxiety. It is caused by brain functions and body chemistry. Some people are more prone to anxiety than others. Also during certain stages in our lives, we are more prone to anxiety such as in the case of a menopausal woman. Get counseling. Join a support group. Know that you are not alone and if you add the list of practices I provided here to augment medical treatment (counseling or energy healing), you’ll make peace with the mean reds.

And I speak from my own experiences…

*I’m not endorsing any of the products or websites mentioned in this article. This is for information purposes only.

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Intuitive Coaching 101–Pause from Men (Menopause Experience)


Something happens to a woman when she reaches middle age. She’s basically had enough of everything and certainly enough of acting as the giver. I once heard women joke that menopause stands for “pause from men” and in a way it does.

My naturopath and experts on menopause inform me that when the change comes she’s ready to let go of baggage. She wants to spend time absorbing vibrations from the natural world. And she longs to go deeper with God, Source, or the Divine Feminine (whatever name you have for the cosmos).

But I don’t have to rely on experts for this information since it’s happening firsthand for me. After I turned 51 years old, I stopped the monthly bleeding or what I once called the monthly curse. I sweated and burned my way through the year and now I’m ready to head to a mountain with the women closest to me and celebrate a rite of passage.

It’s true that I don’t want to be around men who never gave up their teenage angst or habits. I don’t want to live in a home that resembles a bachelor pad. I don’t want to clean up after anyone and I don’t want to get saddled babysitting someone’s kids. I have nothing against children or teens as I prepare for my mentoring years, however, my freedom and space became luxuries and not something I willingly relinquish. I am the quintessential free spirit these days.

I burned away my insecurities and reached that a place of self-actualization. Meaning, I finally don’t care what anyone thinks or feels about me. This doesn’t give me the excuse to act badly towards others, but it does permit me the freedom to act authentic. I also am no longer a game-player whether that’s in the job market or in the political arena. My intuition has expanded to the point where my BS detector is constantly on alert. And when I dress nicely these days it’s for myself or to bring beauty into the world and not to get attention from men.

I have always experienced the Artemis archetype or perhaps I’m a bit roughshod like the huntress Diana who turned a man into a stag because he peeked at her naked body. Then she sent her hounds after the man–poor guy, he didn’t have a chance. During the menopause years, Artemis transforms into the wise crone Hecate–not that I want my body to shrivel up like a prune anytime soon.

Depending on the archetype that defines a woman, she experiences menopause in her own unique way. The mother archetype feels distraught over the empty nest when her children leave home. But now she can delve into her real dreams and create something substantial for the world.

The Aphrodite archetype learns that plastic surgery and chasing after men will not bring her wisdom or true sustenance. Aging is her greatest fear as is the loss of power as men turn away from her aging face and sagging breasts. She sails through the passage successfully if she redirects her focus from her sexual body to her heart.

The Artemis/Diana Archetype struggles with her ambitions. If she has not risen to the heights she envisioned as a young adult, she might take it out on her co-workers or peers. She might become embittered and take it out on those she sees as entitled such as white men. If she ventures in a positive direction she reassesses her career and veers onto a new course. She might return to school or forge a career as an entrepreneur. She certainly has the hunting and networking skills work for her, but she requires redirection. Often times she believes she holds the same dreams she had in her twenties.

Originally, I planned on writing a wickedly funny post on pause from men. Instead, I ended up writing about Greek archetypes. Such is life. But I do know this. It’s perfectly okay if menopausal women experience their Liz Gilbert moments and divorce their husbands. It’s not that they can’t stand their husbands (or maybe that is the case), but that a more expanded version of themselves begs for exploration.

And if a menopausal (early into the passage) don’t feel like dating or getting involved in intimate relationships with either sex, that’s actually normal. It doesn’t suggest that the sex drive won’t ever return, only that it has taken a backburner. Personally, I feel like a high priestess or pagan nun these days. I have used my Second Chakra energies to create art and to venture into areas I only dreamed of in my twenties when I was worrying about whether a man liked me or not. (The Artemis archetype often turns off men with her competitive spirit).

Feel free to leave a comment if you are a woman taking a pause from men. The funnier the better. Laughter is excellent medicine.

I’m an astrologer and intuitive coach entering my mentor years. If you would like some wise advice, sign up for a reading at Whole Astrology






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Intuitive Coaching 101–Protect Yourself from These Types


We came to this planet to learn and grow in love, kindness and generosity.  However, learning the difference between true generosity and enabling others to stay stuck in soul-draining behaviors doesn’t serve the greater good. Sadly, many people take advantage of kindness and not only that, when they suck us of our energy, we have little left to give back to the planet or practice self-care.

So who are these soul suckers and why do we avoid them?

1. Social Narcissist–These folks are everywhere from heading non-profits, to teaching children (and adults), to working in the healing profession to celebrities.  They often working in helping professions or make themselves useful to others, as they keep score of all their good deeds, while expecting a payoff at some point.

These are the folks who roll up their sleeves to help others in need and everyone pats them on the back for their efforts.  But keep in mind these folks keep long lists of all their “kind” deeds and our faults too.  This way they keep us in dependent on them thus disallowing us to live our own paths.

Let me give you an example.  Say, you find yourself requiring help moving house and you post a notice on social media with the hopes that a friend or colleague comes to your aid.  Someone does and you are grateful for their help.  You offer to pay them cash, but he or she won’t accept cash. They say that you can pay them back in a favor at some other time.  Well, time goes by and you offer to help them with various tasks, but they refuse your help at those times.  Meanwhile, they keep hanging this future favor exchange over your head so you feel trapped like you can’t move on with your life.  Some how you feel tied to this person.

Then one day when your life is moving forward and you’re busier than you have ever been, this “friend” shows up in the midst of drama and requires your help.  When you mention that you can’t help them because you are busy, they get out the list of all the favors or favor they did for you.  Suddenly, you are the selfish one. Meanwhile, this person has drained you of your energy this whole time.

The healthiest way to help another person is to do so without any strings attached.  A kind deed from the heart has no strings attached.  Life isn’t about keeping score of who’s doing what.

2. The Fake Soulmate–This person could be the same or opposite sex. They show up under unusual even seemingly magical circumstances and claim to have lived many past lives with you.  They claim that you have karma to balance off thus beginning a co-dependent and sometimes cruel relationship.  Anytime you try to walk away, the person draws you back in with synchronicity or remembering some past life you shared, saying that it your turn to pay up.  These types of relationships could easily transform into sadomasochistic situations or domestic violence.  Get out while you still can and stop believing in their fairy tales.

Solution: See the situation for what it is rather than how you desire it.  Listen to the advice of your real friends who see the light before you do.  Then run from the scene.

3. Drama Kings and Queens–These folks are usually quite attractive and talented.  They draw people in with their allure and usually hang out with the popular crowd.  They prey on people with low self-esteem and make them feel like they are special or good friends.  Yet, they remind us that these relationships are never based on partnerships of equals.  And when something goes wrong in their lives (big or small), they expect you to watch or more like witness their dramas while they suck you dry.  Not only that, they demand your undivided attention and are jealous of any life you try to live without them.

Solution: Practice self-love and find a life coach to work with to help you develop your talents, skills, and confidence in yourself.  Then it’s easier to escape the grips of the Drama King or Queen.

4. The Serial Victim–Know the difference between someone truly down on their luck whose willing to help themselves if only given a leg up and the person who sucks other people dry with victim games.  The Serial Victim actually doesn’t want their life circumstances to improve, mainly because they fear change.  They also fear not having any friends if life actually goes their way.  These folks require therapy so that they can witness the games they play with others.

They fish around for advice so you give them advice which they constantly reject.  They would rather complain to you as the recipient of their complaints.  This wastes both of your time and then you are not able to fulfill the requirements of your own life path. Also, Serial Victims only support you when you’re down and when you’re on the same level as them. They enjoy pity parties and comparing life circumstances.  But if your life starts moving in the right direction they’ll either do one of two things.  They will berate you for acting selfish or they will pull out another woe so that you drop what you’re doing to help them.

Solution: Confront these folks, but not with a list of everything they’ve done wrong.  Confront them with their behavior and how it makes you feel.  Tell them you care about them, but feel drained by their constant victim behavior and direct them to a qualified therapist or support group.  If they refuse to get help, then it’s best to end the relationship or connection.  If this is a family situation, then avoid contact with this family member until they get professional help.

5. Psychic Vampire–These folks hang out in spiritual communities and attend spiritual workshops in search of their next high.  They jump from one spiritual practice to the next without ever committing to any particular one and they give the impression that they interested in soul mastery.  But what they really seek are gurus or other spiritual folks to suck of life energy.  However, the truth is that they can’t do that unless we allow it.  They mostly prey on healers and spiritual teachers, especially those just starting out with a practice.

Solution–Give them the tools and send them on their way.  If they are clients, then redirect them to professional therapy or tell them that they have moved beyond your level of expertise.  Or better yet, confront them with their soul-sucking behavior and watch them run.


I’m not sharing this list so that we go and look for trouble or troublesome people in our lives.  The purpose of this post is to remind us that we have work to do on the planet and we must eliminate distractions that block us from fulfilling our life paths.  Besides, I don’t like this idea of keeping score or balancing karma with others because these practices entrap us.

Think of these people as handcuffed to you.  Do you really want to drag that extra weight around? There are people who require genuine help and when we help these folks we feel lightness and love.  We don’t feel like we’re bonded to them for many lives to come. When I help others, I do so from my heart without any expectations of a payback.  And when I ask someone for help, I expect that there will be no strings attached, otherwise, I’m not going to ask for help.

Now, you could even feel this draw on your energy when you’re around these folks in the form of guilt or that you can’t stand up to them by saying no to a request because you feel you owe them. But in truth, you owe them nothing.  As loving beings we are meant to give and receive, but it doesn’t have to come from the same people.

For instance, I might toss a dollar or two into a street musician’s hat without any expectations.  Then one day, I’m short a dollar at the grocery store and the person behind me gives me a dollar.  The well of the Universe runs deep and the cycle of giving and receiving is endless.  Give from your heart and you shall receive when you least expect it.

I’m an astrologer and intuitive coach who specializes in Transformational Astrology, Pediatric Astrology and intuitive coaching for artists and entrepreneurs.  Visit Whole Astrology.

This is a reprint article from Bonjour Bellingham

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Intuitive Coaching 101–When You Feel You Must Hide Your Light


Photo by Patricia Herlevi

For most of my life I have felt different spiritually. I have felt different all the way around and I was ecstatic when I met people who spoke with trees, chanted to animals, and experienced the consciousness that exist in the natural (and non-natural) world. But often I meet people who pretend to go along with my beliefs even though deep down they practice subterfuge.

Now, the good news of that is I commit more deeply to my beliefs and spiritual practices. I recall past lives where my convictions and commitments led me to the stakes. And I know some of you reading this experienced similar forms of torment and persecution for having beliefs outside of mainstream thinking (brainwashing).

The bad news is when other people pretend to go along with our particular program while silently or not so silently derailing our practices, we shut down. And when we shut down we squelch our light and hold back our love from unleashing upon the world. And I currently find myself in such a situation. Not only that, my sensitivities are scoffed at and I’m told that it’s all in my mind. Well, yes, it is in my mind but my mind creates my reality.

When this happens we at least seek out like-minded and like-hearted people where we feel safe to express our inner longings and share our inner guidance. Perhaps the rest of the world isn’t ready for our ascension practices. All we can do is find company and solace within our soul tribe. Perhaps it is not our job to save the others and they don’t want that from us anyway. Well, doesn’t knowing that help us to release this burden?

So my advice is to go out there and find your soul tribe. Find a safe place to practice your brand of spirituality whether that’s singing under the stars, seeking out sacred sites or meditating with non-humans. If you want to hug trees go for it, just don’t invite the lumberjack types unless you want to experience persecution.

And remember the mantras, “It’s safe to be me in the world,” and “I am safe in the world.” And yes, you are if you use discernment and stop sharing your inner most self with people who don’t get you. I get you and you’re always safe visiting this blog.

I am a metaphysical coach who uses astrology and other spiritual tools to assist you on your path to personal empowerment. Sign up for a session or reading at Whole Astrology.


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Pisces Lunar Eclipse for September 16, 2016

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Intuitive Coaching 101–Moving Past Dangerous Beliefs

DSCN4773The main lesson this year from the Saturn-Neptune Square has revolved around beliefs. We have noticed beliefs turn into dangerous ideologies and then erupting in violence. We have seen beliefs play out in the religious, political, and personal realms. And with Neptune involved, you know that our beliefs contain delusional structures.

“A belief is only a thought and a thought can be changed.”–Louise Hay

I’m reminded of that song by the band R.E.M. which starts every phrase with, “I believe.” And this has been the mantra and motto for the past year. People start sentences by declaring their beliefs and ideologies while expecting others to validate them through agreement. But as an astrologer, I know that the Saturn Neptune Square is running this show we call chaos.

I’m also familiar with the spiritual teacher John Newton’s work around dispelling beliefs. Beliefs are like magic spells we cast upon ourselves. Even when we switch sides or change beliefs we still cling to the old ones. We even fight teeth and nail to hang onto beliefs that no longer feel true or work for us. We fear that if we let go of our stronghold on the belief that we’ll lose our identity.

But our true identity is a reflection of God, this moment, and this single breath. We are not that which we believe. Beliefs are illusions that keep us stuck in our egos. Beliefs keep us fighting with our family or community. We pit ourselves against those who don’t share our beliefs and we call these folks evil. You see this playing out with the pro-choice and pro-life folks, both thinking the other side evil. And yet we are creatures of a single God and even that’s a belief. Is it true?

If you want to know what’s true in your heart, place your hand on your heart and ask it. Then listen closely to that small voice that whispers or warbles like a songbird. Remember that beliefs create reality and we all experience different realities based on our beliefs. So when beliefs clash so do realities. For instance, if someone believes that there is a housing shortage or that there isn’t enough to go around then their experiences will back that up. I have seen this play out in my own life.

So how do we delete beliefs or at least change them? Cognitive therapy works. As does the work of John Newton who even uncovers hidden beliefs or beliefs steeped in ancestral DNA. Check out his work at Health Beyond Belief.

I give astrology coaching sessions to also help uncover beliefs and to navigate the Saturn Neptune Square that has affected us this spring and summer. Contact me at Whole Astrology.

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Whole Astrology–Virgo Solar Eclipse (A Game-Changer)

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Photo by Patricia Herlevi, All Rights Reserved

I’m going on a sabbatical from blogging, except for Whole Astrology until I sort out my housing situation. I believe that I’m at the tail end of the life challenge.

In the meantime, continue to visit this blog, Bonjour Bellingham, Whole Music Experience, and Belle Author.

Thank you for your patience.

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