Intuitive Coaching 101–Getting Our Shift Together

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Do not be fooled by the kindness of a stranger. The apple is poisonous.

We are on a huge learning curve, especially those of us with big hearts and expanded souls. We want to love everyone on this Unity Consciousness ship. However, when we do that, often we get burned by people who don’t have our best interests at heart.

See, here’s what I’ve learned from my own recent experiences and from life coaches on YouTube. When we’re flying high. When we feel good about ourselves? When we’re making progress on our spiritual journey, the dark ones come along to test us. Or they lead us to our deepest wounds.

And the only way out of an entanglement with these folks is to heal the deepest wound. It’s what I call walking through the fire.  However, the pain of walking through the fire is less severe than a lifetime of dancing with people who ooze psychological toxins and are incapable of loving anyone.

So, instead of telling you what traits to look for in other people, I’m going to help you play sleuth to discover what qualities attract the dark ones. You will meet people who never get entangled with abusers, bullies, manipulators, or controllers. And why don’t they attract people who only wish them harm? They’re not co-dependent. They’re not seeking validation from an outside source. They’re not looking to others to ease loneliness or alienation. And they already love themselves and know that love is an inside job.

The rest of us put out baits as if we’re fishing for narcissists or sociopaths. And those baits come in the form of revealing too much personal information too soon. It comes from letting our defenses down too soon. It comes from not paying attention to our intuition which shouts “Red flags ahead!” It comes from false flattery and being noticed by someone. It comes from us wanting to look good, nice, and desirable. If we didn’t harbor those insecurities, we wouldn’t have any bait to toss out to the sharks.

Every time I met someone with a dangerous personality disorder from drama queen to sociopath (both men and women), they sniffed out my desperation. I met these folks through posting on social media, Craig’s List, and especially the Next Door Neighbors website (and this one is scary because these users and abusers are your neighbors).

And I could have just met these folks and moved on. However, since I am a recovering co-dependent, they hooked me with either a nice place to rent or rides to see places I would like to photograph or perhaps, they helped me relocate to a new home. They love doing favors for people in exchange for an instant audience or feed source. My therapist reminds me that there are no free rides in life. People always want something in return.

The other mistake I have made is telling my problems to total strangers and playing the role of a drama queen or victim. Well, you know that fairy tale about a knight or prince showing up to rescue us is really a lie. Stop believing this lie and avoid the dark prince or princess who would probably show up to rescue themselves and not you.

Keep yourself safe from harm by first, not rushing into friendships and if someone does help you, don’t divulge your secrets or personal information. Second, don’t gossip or name drop or brag about your accomplishments to these people. Three, heal the original wound to eliminate any charge that they connect their batteries. And finally, ask yourself if you crave attention from others or if you seek validation. If you do (most of us do), then find a spiritual practice to fulfill these needs. A healthy person doesn’t care what other people think about them.

I’m going to leave you with two life coaches who could save your life. I’ve learned a lot from them. They have helped me to get my shift together because they learned the hard way and got their shift together. You can also get your shift together.

https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaaromano1

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrNg_13PdqKAZRPqyclRq1g

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Astrologer Patricia–Jupiter RX in Libra Balances the Scales

Here is my channeled message which focuses on the end of the white privileged male era.

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Intuitive Coaching 101–Things to do Around People with Toxic Behaviors

breakfast-at-tA year ago, I didn’t know much about narcissists. And three years ago, I had no idea that the reason I suffered from depression and low self-esteem was due to narcissists who circled my life like vultures. I had been dealing with their manipulation and control my entire life until my Spirit Guides showed me a new path.

It’s not your imagination that you feel nauseated, dizzy, disoriented or that your head aches around certain people. You might literally feel a pain in your neck or spine around them. Some folks are outwardly irritating because they act like drama kings and queens or go on an endless litany about everything that’s wrong in their lives. You continually point out what’s working for them, but they never hear you.

Other folks rob you of your precious energy through covert actions that slowly over time erode your self-confidence and even leave you feeling sick. But you don’t have to give them access to your well-being any longer. Work with a life coach or therapist to change your behavior. Get smart. Watch coaching videos on YouTube if you don’t have the funds to pay for a coach. I recommend the Breakthrough Coach, Lisa Romano, but go with your own feelings.

In the meantime, here’s what I have learned from watching YouTube videos, doing the meditations, and testing these practices out in my own life. See if any of these tools work for you and stop providing food for narcissists and other people with toxic behaviors. Reclaim your power so that you can fulfill the reason you are on this planet. And enjoy your time on this planet free of people who feed off us. Ideally, when they lose all their feeding sources, they go into therapy and heal their gaping wounds.

  • Don’t divulge personal information to strangers
  • Get to know people slowly and don’t seek their approval of you
  • Stop seeking validation from others (pray or meditate instead and connect to God)
  • Lift your vibration before going outside of your home or in public
  • If you’re having trouble balancing emotions, retreat and don’t engage with others
  • Fake confidence if you must
  • Lie and tell people your life is going great if you must
  • Watch your posture
  • Keep the focus on other people and off you
  • Shield yourself even if that means carrying crystals on you
  • Cut energy cords and clear chakras often
  • Pre-pave the way by setting positive intentions (my friend taught me this)
  • Hang out in nature or with animals
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Stay clear of dramatic people and don’t engage with their drama

Oddly, I would like to thank the people who have modeled toxic behaviors to me, especially during the past three years. In a strange way, they lead me to my own wounding which I have chosen to heal through therapy and watching coaching videos on YouTube. I refuse to be a victim of bottom feeders any longer. Other people’s wounds are not my responsibility. Adults always have a choice to seek therapy, but they don’t if people allow them to feed off them. Don’t become food for a narcissist. Set yourself free.

Sign up for an astrology session or card reading at Whole Astrology. Let’s explore your hidden gifts and your life path. Also, check out my sample chart pages on this blog. They are listed at the top of the blog.

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Intuitive Coaching 101–Art of Alignment

fscn3850We know when we are in alignment because everything flows to us. Life is easy street. And it’s okay that we are not always in alignment. Life throws curveballs at us and sometimes, we fall down. The key to getting back into alignment is to find the next best feeling thought.

Now, this is something I forget to practice when I’m in the throes of powerful emotions. But take, for instance, someone slighting you on social media or in person. Our first reaction is to lash out at that person. But this throws us out of alignment with the Source. What can you do when someone alarms your ego to go to battle?

First, allow your body to feel and process the emotion. And while you do this, don’t judge your thoughts or feelings. There are times when using profanity helps us to feel the anger and allow it to burn through us. It eventually dissolves. I don’t like profanity, but it has its uses. Just makes sure that you send out light or sage the area so that your anger doesn’t go out and harm someone.

Second, once you have felt the anger burn through you, reach for a better feeling thought. Some suggestions are, “Well, he has a right to his opinion. And I have a right not to agree with him.” “Maybe he was in a bad mood and took it out on me.” “Since he doesn’t actually know me, then why do I feel slighted or insulted by his remarks?” The one I like best, “He is projecting his shadows on to me. This really is his problem. And I can choose to stand my ground, stand up for myself, and move on.”

The objective is to rise up the emotional scale and not down it. The channel Frank Butterfield once advised me to use anger as an antidote to shame. When people insult us they are bullying and shaming us. And really they are projecting their own shame, guilt, and needs on to others. Think of the people who shame people asking for handouts. Now, if they had no charge towards this type of behavior they could walk past the person asking for handouts with neutral emotions.

dscn5464However, if they feel a charge, they will either give to the person out of guilt or shame the person asking for help. And there is nothing wrong with asking for help when it is genuinely needed. Yes, there are scam artists, but these days there are genuine people who require help given the state of the economy, the cost of rent, the cost of food, etc…It’s best not to lump everyone asking for help into one category.

Another reaction when there is a charge is that the person shames the person asking for help. They say things like you are undeserving of my help. I work hard for my money so why should I give any to you. Or the one many of us have heard, “Go get a job.” Anyone who ever watched the movie Conversations with God will understand that it doesn’t take much to become destitute. Break a leg, lose your health insurance, lose your job, and then lose your home. This could happen to anyone who is not a millionaire and that’s most of us.

So back to the topic of alignment. After you have moved up the emotional scale to a place of compassion or hope, bless the person for the lesson they gave you. Or bless them for helping you to find a sore spot which requires healing. Then visualize what you intend to manifest. After you do that, go out and do something you enjoy. Or listen to a favorite song or go walk the dog, as Frank would suggest.

That my dear is the art of alignment. It sounds easy, but it takes daily practice. If you would like to learn more, sign up for a coaching or astrology session with me. Or sign up at Whole Astrology.

Photography by Patricia Herlevi

All Rights Reserved

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Intuitive Coaching 101: What’s Really Happening, man?

 

1119This morning I woke up remembering the Louis Malle’s movie, My Dinner with Andre. For those of you who never watched this classic art house film, it focuses on a man’s spiritual awakening. Andre shows up at a diner wild-eyed and reborn from a spiritual encounter he experienced in Europe. His friend who meets him for dinner is enthralled to reunite with his friend, but confused and disoriented by the messages Andre reveals to him.

Now, the reason I’m mentioning this movie is because many of you are experiencing spiritual downloads and epiphanies. And you didn’t even hang out with a group of spiritualists in some remote part of Eastern Europe. You didn’t travel to South America and drink magic mushrooms on a shamanic quest. And some of you would even say that you didn’t ask for the transformation.

Only you did ask. Or I should say, that your soul requested to come on board a Grand Shift long before your birth onto this planet. And if you’re looking around at this world with a wild-eyed expression that borders on insanity (remember Jimmy Stewart frothing at the bit and shouting, “Zuzu’s petals!” in It’s a Wonderful Life)? Well, that’s you at the moment as viewed by your practical and down-to-earth friends.

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So, what do you do when no one around you understands you anymore? What do you do when your spouse suddenly wants to divorce you and your kids act like you caught a plague. “Oh, please don’t bring that around my friends, Mom.” What do you do when you feel like a hippie dropping out of society or like you dropped acid when in reality, all you did was lay your head down on a pillow after a long day?

Do what the character Andre did. Accept the transformation that has come your way and see it as the blessing that it is. Express gratitude that you are discovering your authentic self and that the question you kept asking, “Why am I here?” has received a response. So often we pray for help or clarity then when it shows up, we dismiss it or try to hide from our truth.

Join a spiritual group online. Learn about the ascension process which at some point happens to everyone. Go to the library and check out spiritual books. Find a spiritual teacher or group in your community. For some of you shy folks, this feels challenging. But muster up your courage and go for it. What do you have to lose but your monkey mind? And the Year of the Monkey ends pretty soon anyway.

If anything, go watch Louis Malle’s My Dinner with Andre. Then that will spark an interest in similar movies. And don’t expect to walk wild-eyed into a diner and be embraced by the average person–at least not at first. While the narrator of Malle’s film rallies against his friend’s transformation (fearing insanity), he eventually reaches the point where he would at least consider another perspective. And anyway, it’s a great movie so watch it.

Sign up for an intuitive coaching session. I use channeling, cards, and astrology to help you get on board the transformation train. Fees and Services.

 

 

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3 Waves of Ascension (2017, 2020 & 2024)

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Whole Astrology–Cardinal Grand Cross & Cancer Full Moon

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Intuitive Coaching 101–5 Traits of a Genuinely Kind Person

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photo by Patricia Herlevi

A Genuinely kind person never calls attention to their kindness. Their sweetness and gentle demeanor flow like honey or milk from them. They don’t try to be kind. I met a  musician (Nawang Khechog) once who embodied kindness. He reflected on his mentor the 14th Dalai Lama who also embodies kindness.

Like you, I have met the real deal and the inauthentic kind person (who uses kindness as a tool of manipulation). And eventually, I became confused as to who I could trust. That’s when I turn to spiritual leaders who embodied generosity and compassion. And physically, their skin glows and smiles come easily to them (full smiles, not tight lip acknowledgments of a smile).

So if you find that you need a reminder of authentic kindness, I’m including a list here to get you started. You already know what it feels like to meet a genuinely kind person. They cause your eyes to mist. They inspire you to spread kindness in the world. They are a random act of kindness embodied.

  1. A genuinely kind person never tells you that they are “nice” or “kind,” and in fact, they don’t rely on words, but on kind acts. They make no promises and they don’t boast about their acts. There is little ego involved.
  2. They practice courtesy and always consider another person’s feelings. They don’t keep score of their kind deeds or expect courtesy from others. However, they greatly appreciate when others show them courtesy.
  3. They speak in quieter tones and practice humility.
  4. They look for ways to make the world a better place whether that’s joining a monastery or picking up litter on their local streets.
  5. Their presence is comforting and some cases, saintly or angelic.

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I also add that the kind people I’ve met don’t expect anything in return. Yes, they won’t turn away your respect, courtesy or kindness, but if you’re in a bad mood, they don’t shout at you, use profanity, or treat you like you are “less than” perfect. They embody an understanding that we all face challenges. And kind people will offer a hug, an ear, or step out of the way like a great martial artist so that they are not hit by an ice storm.

May you be blessed with genuinely kind people who get you. We could all use more understanding. But Saint Francis of Assisi once said that it is better to understand than to be understood. The French-Italian saint embodied kindness.

Sign up for a personal coaching session with me. I use astrology, channeling and card readings.

 

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Intuitive Coaching 101–Calm after a Storm

DSCN6337.JPGToday while I was on the bus, I noticed that another person was feeling miserable from a cold. And perhaps, some of that misery was my projection from fighting off a cold. I found myself talking about fresh air after a storm or that energetic feeling that happens after recovering from a cold or the flu.

Lately, we have experienced one storm after another. We survived high winds blowing through followed by a few days of snow and then more rain. But I will say that I enjoy gulping the fresh air after a storm passes through. And after I recover from a cold, I enjoy the sense of bounding back with a cleaner body.

Viruses and storms actually clear away toxins. I know many people who also enjoy opening the windows in their homes and allowing the wind to blow through after or even during a storm. This might seem counterintuitive to some folks. But changing the ions in the air unclutters out thoughts. And if you do this for 10 to 15 minutes, it’s not going to hike up your heating bill.

With Jupiter in Libra until October of 2017, this is a good time to strike a balance or turn our thoughts upside down so that we gain a new perspective.And what would happen if we looked at viruses as a time out? What if we used this time to get more rest, replenish our bodies with healthy liquids, and wholesome foods?

Oh, I know, as I sit here sneezing and coughing while chills run up and down my body, I get that this is a miserable experience.But I also know that my body is telling me that I would not have ended up in bed with a cold has I drank enough liquids, stayed away from sugar, and got outside and breathed fresh air instead of chaining myself to deadlines and my laptop.

I interviewed a herbalist in recent months who claimed that catching a virus is optional. She recommended getting enough sleep and living a balanced lifestyle, which most of us don’t do. And other people aren’t responsible for us catching their cold or flu. We are responsible because we allowed our immunity to run down and our stress levels to increase to inhumane levels.

I believe that our bodies fight back when we throw them out of balance. And often times, we live in our minds and don’t even consider our bodies. We push ourselves to do the impossible and we can’t or won’t accept help from others. I know I fall prey to these behaviors. And our bodies definitely let us know when they are off balance. And it doesn’t matter how much money we pump into our bodies in the way of natural foods and remedies.

And then, there is another way of looking at these scenarios and that is to enjoy the calm after the storm. Imagine the sun coming out and shining its light on the dripping tree branches. And imagine the chatter of birds as they come out of hiding and find an abundance food source floating in puddles or worms popping out of the soaked earth. Imagine that cold abating and your energy rebounding. It feels like soaking in a bath and watching all the dirt, including psychic debris going down the drain.

Storms come in many forms. They always pass eventually. And it’s best not to get caught up in drama and wait it out with the patience of a mule. Be like the animals who seek higher ground or tuck themselves away in the hedges. Stay calm and that calm multiplies when it returns to you. Although storms are not peaceful, peace often follows and the constrast between the storm and the peace allows us to feel complete.

Sign up for a personal coaching session at Whole Astrology. Also join Astrologer Patricia on Facebook.

 

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Whole Astrology–2017 Forecast for Air Signs

Here you go, Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra.

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